Headache!

Afraid of what I don't entirely understand, I deplore "change". I hope to find bliss in ignorance, but the same ignorance only ignites fear, delusion, and an unimaginable level of skepticism. 

Books, Movies, and Dreams.

The Client.

This isn’t the first time I watched this movie. I adore the movie for some reasons. First, because it has Tommy Lee Jones in it, one of my all-time favorites. Second, it’s based on John Grisham’s book of the same title. An irresistible book I’ve read more than twice. And third, because I am fascinated by how the judicial system works in the US, not to mention their Witness Protection Program and the FBI.

 It’s about a boy named Mark Sway who was caught between two striking forces, the notorious Mob, and the infamous FBI, after witnessing a suicide of a high-profile attorney. The movie was enthralling that it hit me faster than when I read the book a few years back. Like all John Grisham books, every reading leads me to ponder on my long-ignored-but-never-forgotten passion. The Law.

When I was in my penultimate year in high school, I discovered something about myself that most have known about me for years. I wanted to be a lawyer. And a lot of ideas sprouted since then. I would envision myself doing litigation and enduring courtroom scenarios. I wanted to do things that lawyers do in John Grisham’s books and movies. Of course it entailed  four long and excruciating years in law school. Drudgery, I would say.

Although my passion for the legal profession undoubtedly dates back to high school, I never had the chance to fully develop it before college. I took Political Science at Ateneo for my undergraduate study as I was equally enthralled with governance and state principles. I found most of my major subjects interesting. I despised Biology, Theology and Math like most of my contemporaries, while I enjoyed Politics, Economics, and Debate.

Time passed by so fast, not as I imagined though. Shortly after graduation, I decided to work for Unilab as a Medical Representative. A job I supposed was rather temporary before I could summon and replenish all exhausted energy to study Law. But what seemed temporary became a trivial supposition. Last August, I was already on my fourth year in Unilab.

So here I am in a distinct dilemma of rediscovering my passion years after graduating. I don’t know if I’m still young, but law students figure this stuff out at 21 or 22. I remember the movie Dead Poets Society (Robin Williams). It says Medicine, Engineering, Business and Law are the noble pursuits, and are necessary for sustenance of life. But romance, love and poetry are what we stay alive for.

Probably true. I’m getting married next year.

At the end of the day, I’ll go with my gut with what feels right in terms of pursuing paths. I had partially orchestrated my life but personal dynamism got in the way. But just like what the DPS teaches, it’s all about going after my dreams, in spite of all odds.